Mary Ann: I think it’s time for a little English language lesson. I know, you say you already speak English. But what I mean is it’s time for a little ENGLISH lesson. You know, the real, original kind. So here goes….

First let’s play a guessing game. Can you match these pictures with the English word?

Is this a.) A Dumpster b.) A Skip c.) The Inside of My Desk Drawer

Is this a.) A Trunk b.) A Boot c.) A Rented Rototiller carrier

Is this a.) An Umbrella b.) A Brolly c.) An English wettest-July-ever fashion statement

Is this a.) A Signpost b.) A Finger Post c.) 15 directions to the nearest pub

Is this a.) A Hood b.) A Bonnet c.) The thing that bumps you when you're looking for cars coming from the left and they're all coming from the right because of course in England everyone drives on the wrong side of the road.

How about this sign? What were they thinking??!!

And, well, the English sure do know how to hurt a guy.

I wrote all this today because I was feeling a bit cheeky, but now I'm jiggered so I'll go upstairs for a little lie down. Cheerio. (Yes, they really do talk this way!!)